Monday, 25 July 2011

*insert witty title here*

I'm procrastinating slightly so as I don't have to go up to the park just yet. So I thought I would just do a quick summary of my week. Which, on the most part, has been generically boring.

So I didn't actually really do anything other than sit in the garden and go to the park until Saturday. Grace was out with her dad so I went out with a couple of friends. We ended up going to get one of my friend's belly button pierced which was fun to watch. Then after being ripped off by Subway after they put up the price of footlongs without warning me, we decided to go on a random drive to Southport. On the way, we took some fairly random pictures. One cyclist turned and smiled for the camera. I saw a cake shop and yelled extremely loudly "CAKE!" forgetting that my window was down and that people walking by probably thought I had some serious mental issues. We also amused ourselves by taking a picture of a sign for a garden centre called Lady Green, however the word "garden" was written underneath "lady" so naturally, since our brains haven't yet matured beyond the age of 14, we found this hilarious.

We finally got to Southport, still taking pictures of random people and phallic shaped monuments (spurring the conversation "Take a photo of that" "It's too big, I can't get it in... Oh wait, I got the top in..." Again, our maturity levels are low) We walked through the town to get to the pier and stopped in a bar where some guy that looked like a cheap version of Rod Stewart was singing and thinking he was all that. A cute little old couple started dancing together and as we tried to take a photograph we were constantly blocked by some woman, who was in the bar on her own, standing up and rapidly shaking her fat arse along to the music. Bar abandoned, we went to the fair. I hate fairs but we wandered around anyway. There was an air show going on and we couldn't quite understand why the tickets were £9 when we could see it for free, you know, since it was in the sky and all. Then, as we were minding our own business, a huge bang made everyone just stop and look up as if to say "Jesus tonight, what was that?!" Turned out it was some fighter plane, one of those ones that breaks the sound barrier, thus to unsuspecting ears, sounds like a bomb going off and causes a flutter of panic. We joked, saying it might actually be a terrorist attack but everyone would just think it was part of the air show. Then we hear an even bigger bang than the one the plane was repeatedly making. We turned around to see two huge black billows of smoke coming from behind us. For a few seconds we kind of looked at each other like, wow, maybe we were right. But of course, it was just part of the air show. Seems strange to use bombs as entertainment but I suppose if you've paid £9 to see something you could see and hear miles away for free then you'll want to see something different. Then we got bored and made our way back to the car, passing a sexy street singer on the way. Which we also took a photo of.

Not even joking...In the background. Look at the people on the right, running for their lives...

Said friends came back to mine later that night and we watched some Dynamo (super amazing magician, possibly the second coming of Christ) and ate Rusks. Then when they left, I went to put up the photos we took that day. 90 bloody photos. Of crap, basically. But still.

Yesterday I went with a friend to a forest near ours with Grace. We told her there were fairies in there and she had to look for them. We put her in fairy wings and my friend took some photos of her looking cute. Then she turned into demon child and started screaming and crying and being a general pain in the bum. So she wasn't allowed to go to the beach and we went home instead. Nipped over to my mums and she ended up playing inside their new caravan (Grace, not my mum) for about 2 hours until I forced her to come home so I could make dinner, spag bol, which she smeared all over her face.

Once she was in bed, I settled down to watch some TV. I watched a programme I'd recorded about the last space shuttle flight. Gutted because I never got to see it. Last time I went to Florida, I went to the Kennedy Space Center and I LOVED it. We were meant to see a shuttle launch but it was postponed. It's on my list of "things to do before I die" only shuttle has now been changed to rocket as the shuttle programme has finished now and so there'll be no more shuttle launches. Then I started watching a film called The Lovely Bones. The title sounded fairly nice, I'd never seen it nor read the book. But, my god, what a horrible film! It's about a girl who is murdered by a seriously creepy neighbour who lures her into an underground den he has built, then slit her throat, bunged her in a sack and shoved her into a giant metal safe, after she tried escaping. If I hadn't watched How I met your mother afterwards, I would have definitely had nightmares about it.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be going to the park for a picnic and I'm trying to get together the energy to actually move. Got to take Grace to the doctors later as well, landed with the creepy GP again. Whenever I get an appointment I always end up getting him. He's so weird, he never looks you in the eye, he either stares at his computer the whole time, or your chest if you've got a bit of boob showing. So that should be fun.

Anyway, I suppose I best go and sort this child out. I'm also dedicating this post (although there is nothing relevant in it) to all the people who were killed in Norway last week. Such a terrible world we live in sometimes.

Bye bye

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